Oh Life

2008-06-29, 10:54 p.m.

My life...was fine. It was all good. I was single, but perfectly content. And now...I don't know what I am. I don't know what to think or what to feel.
At this very moment I wish I hadn't met him. I don't know if I'm jumping the gun on this, but my instincts are saying I am probably not.
Things have been going fairly well with him...there have been a few bumps, but we get along well and I think I was really starting to like him a lot.
And then...the dreaded hair talk. I like my life. I do. I'm a pretty happy person most of the time. But those few moments when I have to have "the talk" with guys I'm dating....I freaking HATE MY LIFE. And I hated my life today, because of the uncertainty and the waiting...for nothing, apparently.
He seemed like he was fine with it...but so did the first guy. Javier so far has been the only one who didn't care. This guy claims he doesn't care...but he's different today. Last night he would have ripped off my clothes and had sex with me right there on the park bench. And now...we've barely spoken all day. It's so obvious.
This isn't about him. It's not. I think it is, but it isn't. It's about the fact that I am going to have to go through this with EVERY guy I ever date. And I hate it.
All I can say is, if he can go from being absolutely crazy about me to barely interested because of something as unimportant as my hair, then he's not worth it. He's obviously not the type of person I'm looking for.